


Cold Moments

by mysticmylifeisamess_enger



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 21:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14457873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticmylifeisamess_enger/pseuds/mysticmylifeisamess_enger
Summary: A small drabble that touches on the scared, lonely part of 707.





	Cold Moments

The only sound throughout the room was the clacking of his keyboard as he focused in on his computer. Although he had given up hacking, he still had days where he found comfort in doing the only thing he had devoted himself to for years. When he was typing away, strengthening code and finding weak spots in others, he felt useful. He felt as if he had purpose.

Even when he felt so secure with his fiancé, brother and the RFA, he couldn’t shake the thoughts that seemed to manifest slowly until he found himself reverting to his old, unhealthy habits. Thoughts of what his existence had caused, what it would be like if he disappeared, and whether that would benefit everyone in the end. Even with his past behind him, he couldn’t fight feelings of absolute emptiness, giving you the cold shoulder as he continued working. Usually this would only last a few hours before he went looking for you, wrapping you in his arms as he went back to the cheerful Saeyoung, cracking jokes and annoying his brother. But this time felt different, as if he was holding onto some heavier thoughts.

He was about 19 hours into working before he took a break, getting up to stretch and grabbing a can of PHD Pepper. You stopped him before he went back to his room to work, hoping you could reason with him. As you looked at his face, dark circles around his eyes and exhaustion painting his features, you couldn’t help but worry.  
“Hun,” you soothed, “I think it’s time to put the work down and get some rest.”

He only stared at you, words seeming to fall on deaf ears as he walked passed you without so much as a grunt. You grabbed his arm to stop him, but he yanked it back, turning to glare at you as if you had done something so unspeakable.  
“MC,” he sneered, “I don’t think you understand-“  
“Well then help me understand,” you interrupted, “help me understand why you won’t stop.”

He thinned his lips, trying to find the words to say. How could he describe his feelings when he couldn’t even fully admit it to himself? How could he describe what was plaguing his mind without tainting yours with it?  
“It’s nothing you should be concerned about,” he said, averting his gaze.  
“Well I am. You have people who want to help you now, you can’t just run back to your room and pretend that isn’t true,” you rebutted, “And I love you. I don’t want to see you like this.”  
“Then stop!” he rebuked, “stop loving me, stop being concerned and stop involving yourself in this! I don’t need you or your constant need to repair me all the time!”

He had looked back up at you, seeing that you were on the verge of tears. You knew those were just words, he didn’t mean it, but that didn’t make it any less painful to hear. You saw his face soften for a second before he turned away to hide back in his room. He knew he shouldn’t have said that, but he convinced himself that it was to protect you. That if he were to disappear soon, you would have an easier time moving on if that was your last memory of him.

Saeran had heard everything from his room, wondering whether he should have intervened. But before he could, he had peaked to see you on the couch in the aftermath, holding back tears as you typed away on your phone. Maybe you were texting a friend, maybe you were in the RFA chat, but he suspected that you were finding somewhere else to stay. The thought of you leaving their lives terrified him. You had been there for the both them during their hardest times, Saeran had seen you as a loving mother figure he never truly had and he would do anything to keep you here, even if it meant talking some sense into Saeyoung.

He made his way into Saeyoung’s room, not bothering to knock as he burst in and pulled him out of his chair, holding onto his collar as he spoke.  
“I don’t know what your fucking problem is but you need to go apologize to her right now,” Saeran hissed.  
“Saeran, you don’t underst-“  
“Like hell I don’t understand! I shouldn’t have to point out how much of an idiot you are right now,” he retorted.  
“Really, this doesn’t concern you,” he said, freeing himself from Saeran’s grasp.  
“When she’s about to leave and I don’t whether she’s going to return or not, then it becomes my concern! Now what’s going on?” he yelled. Saeyoung felt his teeth clench at this interrogation, falling quiet.  
“No, really, what won’t I understand? What am I too dense to know?!”  
“ ** _This is all temporary_** ,” he snapped. He hadn’t expected himself to say that, surprised at his own confession. Saeran’s expression dropped, knowing exactly what he meant.  
“You, MC, it just feels like it’s all going to get taken away from me any day now and there’s nothing I can do about it,” he admitted, “and there’s nothing I should do about it because I always wonder whether I deserve it or not.”  
“Saeyoung…”  
“I’m not a good person, I don’t deserve to have someone as caring as MC in my life when I’ve done so many bad things in my past,” he continued, “especially what I’ve put you through.”

Saeran turned away to walk out, silence enveloping the room. He stopped at the door and turned his head slightly to say something.  
“That was in the past and I’ve learned to forgive you,” he said, his fists clenching, “but if she leaves, I will never forgive you for that.”

His words cut through his icy exterior as he was left with his emotions spilled around him. His face hot with tears he didn’t realize were there. He knew he had to swallow his pride and face you, offering an apology, but he still felt like he was in the right. Right that he didn’t deserve you, your sympathy, and let alone, your forgiveness. Half of him had to fight thoughts of retreating to his room and letting you go as he walked out to the living room. You hadn’t noticed him enter and as he looked at you, he remembered being in the comfort of your presence. You always had a way of just easing his troubles with one glance, which he wanted more than anything right now. But once he noticed your red face and tear-stained cheeks, he about lost it. He never wanted to see you like that,  _he never wanted to be the cause of that_.

“MC,” he mumbled, a sob escaping his lips as he ran over to you, finding purchase in your arms, “I’m so sorry.”  
“I-It’s okay,” you sighed, feeling your eyes well up again.  
“I know I don’t deserve you,” he sobbed, “bu-but pl-please don’t leave.”  
“Saeyoung, I’m not going to leave you,” you said, cupping his face to look at yours, “you mean too much to me, Just please don’t feel like you can’t talk to me. And please don’t think that, you’re more than enough for me.”

He buried his face into your neck as he held you tighter. He didn’t want to let go, not when he felt so safe, so sure that he would do anything to protect you.

**Author's Note:**

> DM me on tumblr (mysticmylifeisamess-enger) or twitter (isabelwritesmm) for commissions ^^


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